you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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