dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
