Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Terrible idea I love it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
