We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
