I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
