I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
