so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
