I just pynch a tree in the face
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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