Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
