I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
