OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She told me I should be a condom model.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
