I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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