Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
