If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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