I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
