Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
