He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
