if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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