it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
