Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
