How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
