We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
