this beer tastes like vomit already
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
