Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
