What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
