and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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