why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
