So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
