that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
