I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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