i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
