so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
