i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he thought i was a dude.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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