You smell like a Billy Joel song
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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