I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
