OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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