do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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