i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
