i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
