my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
