You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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