I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
