Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
