Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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