The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
