how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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