Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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