it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
