Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
