Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Vodka?
Forever.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
