your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
