It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
