I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
